中译英最常见的错误不仅有语法错误,也有措词方面的错误。造成错误的直接原因是常使用抽象名词或动名词,而不用动词。如果要想使我们的译文简洁,我们必须多使用动词,避免大量使用名词结构。例如:
1.我们应促使音乐、语言和数学相结合。
[误译]We should promote the combination of music,language and mathmetics.
[正确]We should integrate music,language and mathmetics.
[评析]integrate的解释是to make into a whole by bringing all parts together,to unify,意思与promote the combination一样,但是用integrate,英译文更简洁有力、更地道。
2.各种产业正经历分化和整合,新旧矛盾相互交织。
[误译]Various industries are undergoing disintegration and realignment and the new and old contradictions are interwoven.
[正译]Industries are disintegration their elements are being realigned, and new contradictions are being interwoven with the old.
[评析]disintegration(分化)和realignment(整合)有动词形式,而不译undergo(经历),不影响本句的意义。Industry的复数形式就表示“各种”,因此various不必译出。
3.全国植树造林,有利于当代和子孙,应坚持不懈的做下去。
[误译]The nationwide drive for afforestation,which benefits our contemporary, and future generations,should be carried
on with perseverance.
[正译]We must persevere in the national drive for afforestation,which benefits both present and future generations.
[评析]“坚持不懈”有相应的动词persevere,为什么要舍弃它而用效果不好的carried on with perseverance呢?
4.我们应发挥专利制度在发展科学和经济方面的作用。
[误译]We should give play to the role of the patent system in expanding scientific undertakings and economic development.
[正译]We should use the patent system to encourage scientific research and economic development.
[评析]如果一个动词就能清楚的表达意义,就不要用动词+名词短语,这样反而弱化了词义。
5.现在我们应集中精力加强全面整治淮河和太湖。
[误译]Right now we should focus our attention on stepping up the comprehensive harnessing of the Haihe River and Lake Taihu.
[正译]Right now we should concentrate on projects to harness the Haihe River and Lake Taihu.
[评析]focus our attention从意思上到用法上都逊色于concentrate。由于用了concentrate,冗长的词组stepping up the comprehensive harnessing用一个动词harness便很好的表达了原文的意思。
译文要简洁,就要去掉可有可无的词,汉语的某些词语不必译出来,减去虚夸的修饰语。
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